I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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