I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
