Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize