This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
