You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
