thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
