Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
What a dumb baby whore.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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