I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
