puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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