My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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