Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
