just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
