According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
