You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I see more hoeing in ur future
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
