The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
