Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
