Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize