I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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