I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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