So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
