Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i think my cat just said my name.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
