He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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