You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
