I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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