i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
