She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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