We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
