Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
