just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
