Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
