I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
