This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
