Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
