I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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