life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
