We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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