is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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