what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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