hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
