Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize