She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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