ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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