Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
