well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
