So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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