Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
