Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
