Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
