It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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