I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
