belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
