eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
