And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
