it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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