put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So many bounce houses so little time
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
