Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
