meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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