? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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