Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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