Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
