I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
