You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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