omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
