Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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