i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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